Home Contact Biography Works Media News

Jane Recommends
Who Hates Whom / Bob Harris

Who Hates Whom: Well-Armed Fanatics, Intractable Conflicts, and Various Things Blowing Up A Woefully Incomplete Guide by Bob Harris

"The geopolitical equivalent of scorecards that get hawked at ball games. Only Bob could make a user’s guide to our increasingly hostile world this absorbing, this breezy, and—ultimately—this hopeful."
~ Ken Jennings, author of Brainiac

 

Jane in Print
Serenity Found: More Unauthorized Essays on Joss Whedon's Firefly Universe, edited by Jane Espenson

Flirting with Pride and Prejudice: Fresh Perspectives on the Original Chick-Lit Masterpiece, edited by Jennifer Crusie and including Jane Espenson's short story, "Georgiana"

Finding Serenity: Anti-Heroes, Lost Shepherds and Space Hookers in Joss Whedon's Firefly, edited by Jane Espenson and Glenn Yeffeth

 
Jane in DVD

Jane in DVD

Now Available:
+Battlestar Galactica Season 3
+Dinosaurs Seasons 3 & 4
+Gilmore Girls Season 4
+Buffy: The Chosen Collection
+Tru Calling
+Firefly
+Angel: Limited Edition Collectors Set

Jane in Progress

 

Home » Archives » October 2008 » The Grim Brothers
[Previous entry: "Speculations"] [Next entry: "Entitlement"]

10/08/2008: The Grim Brothers


I noticed something in my own writing the other day that I'd never consciously been aware of before. It's kind of a neat little distinction you might enjoy.

This is about a short little scene I wrote that went something like this (names and content changed to prevent Battlestar webisode spoilers):

DAVE
I don't think we're gonna find a way out of here.

TOM
There has to be a way out. Keep looking.

DAVE
(realizing)
That rockslide back there -- the exit could be blocked.

Grim:


TOM
Keep looking.


That's the end of the scene. Notice what I did with the word "grim". It's hanging out at the left edge there as a stage direction when it usually would be a parenthetical on that last line, the way "realizing" was on the previous line.

I made it a direction because I wanted it to be bigger than those two words. I wanted to succinctly convey that it wasn't just the tone of one man's voice that grew grim, but rather that the tone of the whole scene changed. By taking it out of the dialogue, and putting it into the stage directions, I made it more inclusive.

It's a neat little trick. Look at the tonal shifts in your script -- are they at the line-level or the scene level? Consider moving your adjectives around appropriately.

Lunch: leftover ribs from Ribs USA! Perfect.


 

Get Blog Updates Via Email

Enter your Email


Preview | Powered by FeedBlitz

 

Links
Walt Disney Writing Fellowship Program
UC Berkeley
Jane recommends you also visit BobHarris.com

 

Home
Archives

October 2008
SMTWTFS

Valid XHTML 1.0!

Powered By Greymatter
Greymatter Forums


Home | News | Works | Biography | Frequently Asked Questions

Site design Copyright © PM Carlson
This is a fan site owned and operated entirely by PM Carlson with the cooperation and assistance of Jane Espenson. This site is not affiliated in any way with Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox or ABC.