JaneEspenson.com

What do you get when you get when you breed clams? Strangely, sometimes you get a genuinely fresh new joke. Gentle Reader Sarah in Washington state writes in with a great example of this phenomenon, which I had not consciously noticed before. She doesn’t know on which show this occurred, but she brings us the line, “After all, it’s not rocket surgery.” Hee! I love that! Two clams getting together to create new life.

It occurs to me that I even know of a three-way menage a clam. The not-very-smart character Mark on Roseanne once said something like, “He’s not the brightest tool in the deck.”

To be fair, I suppose these aren’t really clams that are being combined, they’re simply cliches, and the idea of malapropisms as comedy dates back as far as humans had sayings to screw up. But let’s not pop my parade here; I think there’s something to be learned from these. Lots of you will be writing specs in which you have to convey something of a character’s essential nature very quickly. Malapropisms like these can be very useful for establishing a certain type of character. Give ’em a try!

In other news, I’m pleased to find a letter today from Mark, also in Washington, who writes representing the Northwest Screenwriters Guild. This is a mysteriously apostropheless group that helps professional screenwriters get started at making a living. He wanted to let me know that a link to this very blog has been added to the site’s Resources page. Thank you, Mark! I’m always happy (as a clam) to be listed as a writing resource.

Lunch: bean and rice burrito